She Won’t Return My Call: My Life Lesson from Working in Sales

I never realized how much my sales job would teach me about the world. More specifically, how we interact with each other on a day-to-day basis.

I was talking with a couple friends about how women often flake when you get their phone number. It has always been a really frustrating part of my dating life. When you first meet a girl, the two of you will be getting along great. The fireworks are flying as you look into each other’s eyes and collectively imagine the future you could have together. You exchange phone numbers and then the night turns into another day. With the rising of the sun; everything changes.

Reality hits. You get on with your daily routine and so does the girl. At some point you’ll try to re-ignite the flame and then the flaking starts. Failures to hang out, busy schedules and excuses plenty. It happens to us all and it’s fascinating and frustrating all at the same time.

My Lesson

I work in membership sales. What that entails is sitting down with a prospective client and talking about their life. Can they use our service and if so, can they get over the hurdle of actually spending money on it?

It is a frustrating job and it is an amazing job all at the same time.

When I first started I would get really frustrated when I’d believe our product was perfect for someone, and they’d leave without making a decision. For months and months it would piss me off that these people weren’t buying. I would go home frustrated and tired from exerting energy into caring about people that weren’t even interested in me or what I was selling.

After a conversation with my boss, I realized that I was wasting so much energy on the people who weren’t buying. Not only that but I was barely even thinking about the people who were buying. What a waste of energy!

How does this relate to dating/flaky women?

As guys, we waste so much time chasing girls that aren’t interested in what we’re offering. It starts in high school where we develop crushes that can last a decade. We long for the girl we can’t get and we ignore the ones we can.

I am a firm believer in the premise of the movie ‘He’s just not that into you’.

Stop falling into the trap of chasing down bad leads. Stop wasting your energy on the girls that aren’t interested in you. There is nothing you can do; you’re just not her type. Get over it and move on.

There are so many girls that dig you. But you put more focus on “winning over” the girls that don’t.

It is a bad habit, but we all fall into its trap. It is closely tied into our ego. And why shouldn’t it be? It’s all over the movies. If he can get the girl he longs for at night, why can’t I?

Life isn’t a movie. In sales there are good leads and bad leads. There are some customers you can get with no effort and there are some that no matter what you say or do, they aren’t interested. In dating there are some girls that will laugh at your jokes no matter how stupid they are. There are others that will flake on you, no matter how witty your texts are written.

Conclusion: Be aware of how you focusing your energy. Stop wasting your time chasing girls who aren’t interested in you.